August has been one of the happiest months and one of the saddest months ever. With tons of changes happening all at once it's been one of the hardest months no doubt. My sister Cyd that has been living with us and nannying for us since Zion was 5 weeks old moved to Cedar City to go to school, and I am now a stay at home mom. I miss Cyd so much. She has become my best friend. I love that she is always so dependable. She never has drama and is so level headed. I can always count on her to tell me the truth and call me out when I'm being a brat. She is soooooooooo good with Zion and he loves her so much. I could not and would not have gone back to work after he was born if it wasn't for her. Truthfully, we didn't really need me to go back to work but I know me and know my personality and knew it would be better for me if I did. Which brings me to my next hard adjustment.... Being a stay at home mom. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Zion and love being a mom, but the change has been harder on me than I thought. I never felt like going back to work was selfish or neglectful because I only worked from 5-8 am. Zion was almost always still asleep when I got home from work. I felt like it was a win win all around. Cyd was able to make some extra money to save up for school, I was able to get out of the house for a couple hours and do something I love, and Zion didn't know the difference because I was home when he woke up. To walk away from the gym was so hard. Zac and I have put EVERYTHING into growing our business and making it a success. When we started it we literally did not have one penny of capital and we were so young we didn't have the credit history to qualify for a loan, so we maxed out 13 credit cards to get it going. It ended up being a lot of debt... One card alone had nearly $20,000 charged on it. Not to mention the huge strain it was on our marriage. After 6 months of being in business we were just days away from a divorce. Somehow we made it through it all. We were able to save our marriage, pay off all of the debt and grow our company more than we ever thought possible. I know that I am still an owner and I still handle all of the book work but not being in there every day makes me feel kind of "left out" for lack of a better word. It's just weird to put your everything into something and then walk away. And I miss the social aspect of it. I miss my friends. Most of my clients have been coming in and working with me for at least 2 or 3 years and now I don't get to see them. It's just weird but I'm learning to adjust.
With all of that said, I am so proud of Cyd for going away to school. I honestly believe that this is what is best for all of us. It' s good for her to get away and be independent and go after what she wants. And it's good for me to be home with Zion all the time. I've noticed I'm happier during the day because I'm not as tired from waking up at 4 am. And it's nice to be able to stay up a little later at night and be able to get cleaning and laundry done and work on projects so that when Zion is awake we have more play time and less chores to do. All said and done, I'm so grateful for the time that I had working at the gym and having Cyd live with us, and I'm grateful for this new chapter that we all have ahead of us. Here are a couple pics of Cyd and Zion right before she left.
I love you Cyd and I'm thankful you're my sister. Thanks for loving my baby like your own. I couldn't ask for anything more.
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